FIRST KISS: We asked twenty strangers to kiss for the first time…
"What’s your name again?"
If you don’t understand why people don’t like the big bang theory, once in an episode the cast was at a comic store browsing and a woman walked in, and one of the leads said “Is she lost?” and that was the joke.
This is literally the stupidest comic I have ever made and I’m not even sorry
You know when you kiss someone and they smile and you can feel the way their lips are curving even as they kiss you back
I love that.
You know when you bite into a totinos pizza roll and you can feel the warm tomato sauce mixed with the toppings squish against your tongue in contrast with the doughy crust encasing the heavenly inside
I love that
I’m quite pleased with this.
Rapping this out loud in my empty classroom like swag.
WALK INTO THE CLUB LIKE WADDUP I AM A BIG SCOT
I’M SO PUMPED ABOUT SOME VISION THAT THE WITCHES GOT
I WILL BE THANE, SO SAYS THE PROPHECY
THAT PEOPLE LIKE “DAMN, MACBETH DESERVES GLORY”
the struggle between “i’m too lazy to shave my legs plus it’s a nice fuck you to gender expectations” and “i want legs as smooth as baby dolphins” is so real
I was waiting on a table of a big family. 7 of them, three kids, mom and dad, and grandma and grandpa. Grandma was your typical OLD OLD OLD grandma. In a wheelchair with a blanket over her legs, looked like one of those apple dolls, spoke in a whisper.
She sees my tattoos, grabs me with her bony hand, and says “you know dear….. I have a tattoo too……” and her husband says “Grace, leave her alone, she’s working” I’m curious, I’m nosy, so I say “Oh really, of what?” Grandpa rolls his eyes and goes “here we go…”.
Grandma says “It’s … a tiny … little … mouse” using the best of her ancient breath to get the words out. “would you like to see it?”. Um hell yeah I wanna see a 90 year old’s tattoo! She goes “it’s on my hip, hold on” and pulls her blanket off and then starts trying to pull her skirt down. Her old lady flesh is totally exposed to the sun (we were on a patio) and I’m using menus to try to shield her, I was that worried it would just burst to flames or something. She keeps pulling at her clothes going “hmmm now where is it, where is it…” getting dangerously close to seeing old lady pubes now.
Finally she looks up at me and say “Well, you know what… It’s gone! I bet my pussy ate it.”
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